Don’t play yourself

Going to my hometown college wasn’t my choice; I didn’t have an option. Being a psychology major wasn’t my choice; I didn’t have an option. And being where I am right now is definitely not what I pictured or what I wanted. The idea that we all have a choice in life was not my reality. What we want to be and do in the future is in our hands, but people always forget that family pressure and society always has a say in what they want you to do. Unless you’re passionate or privileged it’s very easy to just follow step and do what they want you to do. My name is Gentille, I’m a black girl from Burundi and my dream was to be a Burundian diplomat who also owns a fashion house and empowers other girls through the expression of clothes and color.

What we want to be and do in the future is in our hands, but people always forget that family pressure and society always has a say in what they want you to do.

Getting into my hometown college as an African black girl, living in the USA was a process out of my control. I originally wanted to be out of state, but with no money for dorm and school fees I ended up where the box fit. I ended up where my parents had the last say, and finances determined my future. When I was deciding my major, I knew my parents wanted all of us to be successful and do big things. But doing fashion, modeling or creative content was not one of the dreams they had for me. So, I chose the second-best option; Psychology.

In college, they love to say teachers are available to help and that everything is easy, but a lot of the times teachers are very nonchalant about your issues. You’re mostly on your own and unless you ask the right questions you could possibly end up going to school for 4 years, only realize last minute that you can’t graduate. Being a black girl, my dreams were always dismissed. Whether great or small, their solutions were always for me to stick to something “easier” or “faster”. The saddest truth is I always listened and did just that because my goal was to graduate and get a degree.

“I won’t say going to school was terrible, but it was difficult. It’s something you have to be completely ready for or it’ll be very easy to crash.”  Coming from a poor family, I was working two jobs just to have what everyone had while keeping up with classes. I wanted to be independent so bad, and have an apartment, have my own clothes and technology, to the point I got myself in debt, and when life hits you in college, it hits you hard. Why, is it that no one prepares you for finances in college? Before I knew it, I was in debt. I had to stay an extra summer semester to graduate and which put me in even more debt. And by the time I graduated I was depressed and wondering honestly what I would do with my life.

I’m at a point where I owe the school money. I’m at a point where one job doesn’t cut it and I have to find more jobs so I can pay everything off. I’m at a point in my life where it hurts seeing others who seem to have it together and you feel like four years were wasted on a degree you didn’t even want to begin with. College is something that has to be thought out and planned to the T. You have to think about money (what you can and can’t afford), you should really think about your passions because doing something you don’t love is a waste of money and time. Don’t put yourself in problems you can’t solve right away, such as loans or credit cards etc. Always plan things with the idea that you can get it done. In life, you have so many options to choose from, they sometimes may not be visible or easy, just make sure you plan things out so you get what you want the most. And lastly, surround yourself with a great support system to help you get through the hard parts of life. I was lucky enough to be blessed with 7 new sisters when I entered college. These girls helped me through family issues, financial problems, boy troubles and they truly gave me a break in difficult times. They allowed me to be myself, make mistakes and just breath through things. Life is a roller-coaster full of twist and turns and a lot of bumps. Make sure you’re riding it with people that make you happy and give you the courage to keep pushing through until you get 0there. Lord knows, I may not always know where I am headed in life, but I havesome great friends to help me figure it out as I go.

Written by Gentille- content creator of Forgotten Magic.

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